So I’m here, alone, with my mostly packed suitcase, a baby bag full of tiny onesies and a “going home” outfit (actually a few choices because how can we know what will suit her? Such is my thought process lately).
I am trying to cultivate calm and positivity before my cervix’s 7.30am date with prostaglandin gel tomorrow. Surfing the web to find some advice on what to do the night before an induction to prepare was a big mistake. I just ended up feeling panicky reading women’s accounts of their induction experiences (contractions faster and stronger is a common theme… yikes).
So I resorted to chocolate cake, and washing another little baby outfit in some Martha Gardener’s wool wash that my mum brought over for me. And any minute now, I’m going to try to listen to my Circle and Bloom “Happy Birth” brainwashing episode, even though every time I’ve tried it these past few weeks it’s sent me straight to sleep.
Dr E’s plan for induction is prostaglandin tablet/gel which will allegedly soften my cervix up nicely. I have no idea what state my cervix is in right now. And then five or six hours later, he will give me pitocin I think… the dreaded pitocin.
Maybe the baby will get this party started herself tonight. I would so much prefer to have it start of its own accord. We have been trying the natural remedies I’ve heard of. Rufus and I had surprisingly successful sex today, considering the laughably awful encounters that have marked the past few weeks. We are not talking just bad sex here! We are talking uncomfortable, unsexy, and occasionally vomit-inducing (the queasiness has dogged me right to the end of this pregnancy). He has also promised to bring home chicken curry for dinner. And I went walking twice. I also spent part of the day in a probably fruitless attempt to get her to face the right way (she’s head down, but facing the world in general instead of my spine). I am not going to go down the castor oil path, though.
That’s most home remedies ticked off my list. But wait… there is a small section on my prenatal bellydancing DVD marked “exercises for labour” which they recommend you don’t do because they can help bring ON labour. I will give that a whirl, right after I wring out the hand-washed onesie, close up my suitcase, line up my birth ball so I don’t forget it, and turn on that Healthy Birth meditation tape.
Wish me luck, readers… as I go through this tomorrow I expect I’ll be thinking once again about what a miracle all of this is, and what an amazing feat for any woman to pull off; and yet at the same time it’s so commonplace and ordinary. So many women do this every day. So many take it for granted that they can do it. How can that be? It takes courage and stamina and for some of us, a load of fertility drugs, cold, hard cash, and lots of luck.