Dont judge me, froggie

I  am so miserable right now, I don’t know what to do with myself.

It’s this waiting. I am hoping my overly emotional, cranky, tired, twingey state is indicative of pregnancy. And yesterday I secretly had this feeling, that yay, yes, I was pregnant. But last night and today have been all downhill.

I want to pee on a stick, but there are no early indicator sticks in Peru, as far as I can tell. My MIL told me yesterday that up until the 50s they would just inject a frog with a woman’s urine. And if it spawned the next day, she was pregnant. I really love frogs, they are one of my favourite animals. But I did think fleetingly it might be worth a shot. (The frog does not die, apparently, tho I am sure it’s not thrilled at being injected with pee)

I want to be hopeful, but the hope scares me … I know how devastating it is when the hope fizzles out.

So I either will go buy a crappy test this afternoon and try it out tomorrow or just hang in there till Thursday for my blood test. If I could fast forward these next three days, I totally would. Whatever anyone has to say about wishing your life away.




5 thoughts on “Dont judge me, froggie

  1. Thank you for this post.
    I’m in this place now— 9 days post 2 blastocyst transfers. I want to poas! My hubby won’t let me. I’ve never been pregnant and have never experienced this as well. I’m googling every sx… Terrified these cramps and headaches are similar to my periods rather than a BFP…. Thank you for this post

  2. So sorry to hear you are feeling so low. The waiting is torture, hang in there. Personally I have found it best not to test at home prior to the test date and just wait for the blood test. It’s like every test occasion is extra torture in and of itself. I guess it’s that thing of being suspended somewhere in free fall between hope and fear in an intensified way.

    • Thanks hon… I am teetering on the brink of going out to buy a test today. I don’t know if it’s worse to keep hoping, or just end the hope now. I feel all pre-menstrual. Seeing the stories of BFNs on Twitter makes me so sad, for myself, for all of us…

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