Ain’t got no discipline

I blame Facebook. And Google. And Greatstufftv. And my itouch. And my smartphone. Over the past few years I have quietly developed a common modern malady that has no name yet as far as I know. It’s a nervous, twitchy, unfocused, technology-related form of attention deficit disorder. I am irritable, overwhelmed by the sea of information out there and the sense that I can never keep pace with it – I am sunk before I even begin.

My nervous twitch – almost involuntary these days – is that flick of a button to check my facebook or email or a news alert or a blog or an online magazine or an online episode of my favourite tv show.

It’s harder and harder to just focus on one thing at a time. An article I saw this week said this was partly down to narcissism – my picture is on Facebook, therefore I am.

I think it’s more complicated than that. You see, I need the internet for my job. I am constantly connected, even when I don;t want to be. And facebook is a pleasant distraction from  it all – like a virtual coffee break.

Now I have a new vice to add to my list – this blog, where I can indulge my fears and hopes while I try to have a baby. Things I don’t want to share with too many friends in the real world, because it could get very boring very quickly. So here I am, stray onto this blog between sneak peeks at Facebook, news alerts, specialist blogs, online magazines and newspapers, every time I get a little stuck at work.

So as of right now I am making a Saturday September 11 2010 pledge: no Facebook, no blog, no Rizzoli & Isles or True Blood or Rookie, until my work is done. Lord, give me strength.


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