Cliches are cliches for a reason, and so it is with biological clocks. As much as I hate to admit to myself that my biological clock is ticking, I feel each month slip by with an increasing sense of fear. I always thought I would eventually have children, but maybe it won’t happen. As of two days ago, another month slipped by, and I was lucky enough to be in one of the most beautiful places I know, with chilled coconut and lime juice to hand, and rooftop swimming pool and dreamily hot streets filled with all kinds of exotica to distract me. I reminded myself of how lucky I have been in life so far, and how positive thinking is imperative to so much, whether it’s work goals or wanting a baby. But I can’t help being stalked by the fear that it may not happen. And what do I do then?
Back to the gyno next month for the beginning of tests and some kind of action plan, and in the meantime, plenty of opportunity to ponder the meaning of life, with or without little ones.